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thecrazyalaskanIt was Thursday. The Thursday before the end of the world, and almost Friday to boot. The late hour found one angel and one demon sitting across from one another at a small table in the back of the former's Soho bookshop. Empty glasses littered the table, and the pair passed a bottle of Chianti between them.
"Got anything to eat 'round here?" the demon, Crowley, asked, less than articulately.
"Cupboard," the angel, Aziraphale, mumbled in reply, staring moodily into his glass.
Crowley stood, a little shakily, and stumbled across the small room, opened the cupboard and dug through it noisily. After a few moments, he returned and set something on the table between them. The something in question was a small red box with a string handle. Printed in gold, over images of a tiger, a hippopotamus, a giraffe and a zebra, were the words Barnum's Animals; below that, in slightly smaller letters, Crackers.
Aziraphale looked on in hazy interest as Crowley wrestled the thin paperboard open and ripped open the wax paper inner bag, thrusting his fingers into the bag and pulling out two animal crackers. He offered one to Aziraphale; the angel accepted.
They ate their animal crackers and drank their wine in slightly intoxicated silence. As Aziraphale reached for a second helping, Crowley suddenly spoke. "Y'know somethin'?"
Aziraphale looked at him quizzically, which prompted Crowley to continue: "I dun think that the animal cracker—" He waved the zebra shaped foodstuff for emphasis—"qualifies as a biscuit."
The angel tiled his head slightly. "It's sweet—like a biscuit," Crowley soldiered on, "and you can't put cheese on the bloody thing and that—that's what makes a cracker a cracker." He paused,, looking genuinely confused as to how his train of thought had arrived at this station. "Dunno where that came from…"
"You make such charming small talk, my dear," Aziraphale observed with a chuckle, a sincere smile touching his flushed face.
Crowley smiled, hearted. "Got a little animal biscuit nature documentary going on 'ere," he announced. His next words were spoken is his best nature documentary narrator voice as he "walked" the zebra across the tabletop: "Watch the gazelle as he grazes through the open plains
"In the distance, a cheetah—" he picked up a tiger-shaped biscuit now—"approaches. Watch as he stalks his prey. Now the gazelle is a little spooked. Now he could find food and refuge in the grainfields of the north." The demon brushed the legs of the biscuit over Aziraphale's wavy blonde hair as he spoke.
The angel laughed and gently batted Crowley's hand away, prompting Crowley to continue. "Or he gould go south." He paused briefly, his attitude and his physical body sobering significantly. "The gazelle now faces the very perilous question: north… or south?" Crowley took Aziraphale's scholarly hand in his and turned it palm up. "Very far south…" He laid the biscuit in the angel's hand and gently closed the angel's fingers around it, a cheeky grin shaping his face. "Tune in next week."
There was another pause. This time, Aziraphale broke the silence. "Anthony?" He, too, had sobered up.
Crowley looked up, his expression behind his sunglasses one of interest at the address.* "Yeah?"
"Do you suppose it's possible," Aziraphale began slowly, "that anywhere else in the world, someone is doing this?" He gestured to the biscuits and wine bottle and glasses between himself and Crowley. "All this, at this very moment?"
"Hope so," Crowley replied without so much as a second thought. "Otherwise what's the damn point?"
A thin, but sincere smile shaped Aziraphale's features. Ever to the point, the old serpent. But… so long as there was that ineffable hope, they would be able to stop it, right?
Meanwhile, in the distance (though unheard by either party), a radio was playing, very softly—
I don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
----------
* It was a very rare occasion that Aziraphale used Crowley's first name. Rare, but precious.
-.-.-.-
Oh, Good Omens, how I adore thee. This goes double for Crowley and Aziraphale, triple if they’re a couple.
Inspired by the Animal Crackers scene in Armageddon, which is about as fluffy / sappy as it gets. The tie-in was also too good to pass up—the end of the world although due to two very different causes, and two people pondering their place in such. With Crowley and Aziraphale, their places are both a little more clean cut and a little vaguer than was the case for Liv Tyler and Ben Afflec—Crowley and Aziraphale do indeed have their respective sides, but neither wants to join them for the coming war.
I’m pretty pleased with this… I think the scene plays out better when you use “cookie” rather than “biscuit,” but given that Good Omens is set in England, the British term was required. I nearly made Aziraphale a woman here… Thoughts? Should I leave it as is or do a version where Aziraphale is a female?
As to Aziraphale addressing Crowley by his first name… that was for me. 8D
References / Copyright Info
The Animal Crackers scene , Armageddon © Jerry Bruckheimer
I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing © Aerosmith
Crowley, Aziraphale, Good Omens © Neil Gaiman, Terry Prachett
Animal Crackers © Nabisco
"Got anything to eat 'round here?" the demon, Crowley, asked, less than articulately.
"Cupboard," the angel, Aziraphale, mumbled in reply, staring moodily into his glass.
Crowley stood, a little shakily, and stumbled across the small room, opened the cupboard and dug through it noisily. After a few moments, he returned and set something on the table between them. The something in question was a small red box with a string handle. Printed in gold, over images of a tiger, a hippopotamus, a giraffe and a zebra, were the words Barnum's Animals; below that, in slightly smaller letters, Crackers.
Aziraphale looked on in hazy interest as Crowley wrestled the thin paperboard open and ripped open the wax paper inner bag, thrusting his fingers into the bag and pulling out two animal crackers. He offered one to Aziraphale; the angel accepted.
They ate their animal crackers and drank their wine in slightly intoxicated silence. As Aziraphale reached for a second helping, Crowley suddenly spoke. "Y'know somethin'?"
Aziraphale looked at him quizzically, which prompted Crowley to continue: "I dun think that the animal cracker—" He waved the zebra shaped foodstuff for emphasis—"qualifies as a biscuit."
The angel tiled his head slightly. "It's sweet—like a biscuit," Crowley soldiered on, "and you can't put cheese on the bloody thing and that—that's what makes a cracker a cracker." He paused,, looking genuinely confused as to how his train of thought had arrived at this station. "Dunno where that came from…"
"You make such charming small talk, my dear," Aziraphale observed with a chuckle, a sincere smile touching his flushed face.
Crowley smiled, hearted. "Got a little animal biscuit nature documentary going on 'ere," he announced. His next words were spoken is his best nature documentary narrator voice as he "walked" the zebra across the tabletop: "Watch the gazelle as he grazes through the open plains
"In the distance, a cheetah—" he picked up a tiger-shaped biscuit now—"approaches. Watch as he stalks his prey. Now the gazelle is a little spooked. Now he could find food and refuge in the grainfields of the north." The demon brushed the legs of the biscuit over Aziraphale's wavy blonde hair as he spoke.
The angel laughed and gently batted Crowley's hand away, prompting Crowley to continue. "Or he gould go south." He paused briefly, his attitude and his physical body sobering significantly. "The gazelle now faces the very perilous question: north… or south?" Crowley took Aziraphale's scholarly hand in his and turned it palm up. "Very far south…" He laid the biscuit in the angel's hand and gently closed the angel's fingers around it, a cheeky grin shaping his face. "Tune in next week."
There was another pause. This time, Aziraphale broke the silence. "Anthony?" He, too, had sobered up.
Crowley looked up, his expression behind his sunglasses one of interest at the address.* "Yeah?"
"Do you suppose it's possible," Aziraphale began slowly, "that anywhere else in the world, someone is doing this?" He gestured to the biscuits and wine bottle and glasses between himself and Crowley. "All this, at this very moment?"
"Hope so," Crowley replied without so much as a second thought. "Otherwise what's the damn point?"
A thin, but sincere smile shaped Aziraphale's features. Ever to the point, the old serpent. But… so long as there was that ineffable hope, they would be able to stop it, right?
Meanwhile, in the distance (though unheard by either party), a radio was playing, very softly—
I don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
----------
* It was a very rare occasion that Aziraphale used Crowley's first name. Rare, but precious.
-.-.-.-
Oh, Good Omens, how I adore thee. This goes double for Crowley and Aziraphale, triple if they’re a couple.
Inspired by the Animal Crackers scene in Armageddon, which is about as fluffy / sappy as it gets. The tie-in was also too good to pass up—the end of the world although due to two very different causes, and two people pondering their place in such. With Crowley and Aziraphale, their places are both a little more clean cut and a little vaguer than was the case for Liv Tyler and Ben Afflec—Crowley and Aziraphale do indeed have their respective sides, but neither wants to join them for the coming war.
I’m pretty pleased with this… I think the scene plays out better when you use “cookie” rather than “biscuit,” but given that Good Omens is set in England, the British term was required. I nearly made Aziraphale a woman here… Thoughts? Should I leave it as is or do a version where Aziraphale is a female?
As to Aziraphale addressing Crowley by his first name… that was for me. 8D
References / Copyright Info
The Animal Crackers scene , Armageddon © Jerry Bruckheimer
I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing © Aerosmith
Crowley, Aziraphale, Good Omens © Neil Gaiman, Terry Prachett
Animal Crackers © Nabisco
